Jennette McCurdy strived for years to succeed as an actor, rising to childhood stardom when she booked iCarly, a national sensation which aired on Nickelodeon, at the age of fourteen. But if she’s being truthful, she never wanted to be a famous actor. I’m Glad My Mom Died is the deeply moving life story of McCurdy’s struggles to endure mistreatment and even abuse throughout her childhood and into adolescence—and in under a week since its release, it has become a bestseller and sold out in bookstores everywhere. This book focuses on behind the scenes of McCurdy’s acting career, where her mother was encouraging rampant anorexia, controlling her finances, emotionally manipulating the young actress, and intercepting any budding independence in McCurdy’s life. In addition, the pressures of being an actor would prove detrimental to her health and happiness, and the professional world in which her career flourished would allow unchecked behaviors to influence and manipulate McCurdy and fellow actors. Only years later—after her mother’s death—would McCurdy be able to identify and repair certain facets of her life. In the aftermath of hardship and tragedy, this woman’s perseverance is inspiring, to say the least.
The book works chronologically, unearthing details about McCurdy’s youth which have shaped her reality today. The first half explores life before her mother’s death from breast cancer, and the latter explores afterward. Each chapter analyzes anecdotes from McCurdy’s perspective, beginning in early childhood and spanning her life. These events are presented like scenes in a movie; there is a reason we are hearing about each occurrence. They are all defining moments for McCurdy, affecting her for years to come. And we are along for the ride, undergoing her same confusion, hurt, triumphs, joys, heartbreaks, progress, and epiphanies as we read through McCurdy’s acute perspective.
She is dry and flat in her delivery of these anecdotes, exhibiting both her deadpan humor and the healing she has done since these events. McCurdy is likable, funny, sincere, and brave in her recounts. This memoir seems a natural next step in her life as she navigates overcoming trauma and leading a fulfilling life—the one that she wants. And this step is essential in McCurdy’s journey: Her prominence in the entertainment industry aids the exposure of people and systems which are harmful to others in her same position. I’m Glad My Mom Died will help pave safer courses for upcoming Hollywood stars in a world where we often forget that these effervescent entertainers are people, too.
Though her writing often understates the gravity of certain experiences, it is clear to readers how intense much of her circumstances were; this simple and direct style of writing exhibits McCurdy’s innocent, naïve viewpoint at the time of each instance, contrasting the troubling actuality which the adult reader is bound to understand. We root for her as she tackles personal ordeals involving eating disorders, religious guilt, debilitating OCD, emotional responsibility for her family, trouble forming relationships, addiction, and general abuse, to name a few.
As a young girl, McCurdy was part of a dysfunctional Mormon family and an unhappy home. Though she dealt with challenges stemming from fame, self-esteem issues, a manipulative producer by the name of Daniel Schneider, and other catalysts, her mother was often at the root of most problems. McCurdy’s mother had many issues of her own, and she constructed a codependent best friendship with her daughter to project much of her personal baggage onto McCurdy, including her dreams of acting, her obsession with appearance and weight, and her emotional tumult. At a certain point in I’m Glad My Mom Died, it becomes apparent how McCurdy had become an extension of her mother; McCurdy’s misinformed understanding of a good mom was something her own mother exploited and furthered, and she controlled McCurdy’s perception of her for a long time—especially as they both struggled with her mother’s breast cancer diagnosis. McCurdy justified these harmful actions, committed to a career she did not want, allowed her privacy to be infiltrated, and resorted to destructive forms of coping and existing as a result of such emotional and mental abuse.
“I was better in the callback than I was on the day of filming. I failed. I wish mom would stop bringing it up, but I know she’s just trying to get me to be better. I know she means well. She just wants me to stop messing up and not doing as well as I could. She just wants me to be as impressive as I can be. She’s just being a good mom.” – Jennette McCurdy
These thoughts were no rarity throughout McCurdy’s childhood and adolescence. From a young age, a lot was expected of her. She wished to impress her mom, support her family, and sacrifice her own well-being for those she loved—though today, she recognizes that none of these responsibilities were hers. And reading about her beautiful transformation was uplifting, even when it was hard.
I don’t like knowing people in the context of things. "Oh, that’s the person I work out with. That’s the person I’m in a book club with. That’s the person I did that show with." Because once the context ends, so does the friendship
A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.
Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.
In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.
Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.
Jennette McCurdy was finally able to pursue her dreams of writing and directing in 2017, at the age of twenty-five. Resulting films and pilots appear in Florida Film Festival, Salute Your Shorts, The Hollywood Reporter, and more. She hosts a podcast, “Empty Inside,” where she addresses so-called taboo topics with a different guest each episode. I’m Glad My Mom Died was also presented as a one-woman show at the Lyric Hyperion Theater in Los Angeles, where it boasted a sold-out run. McCurdy will surely continue to tackle illicit discourse in her work, churning out similar restorative projects as her supporters await eagerly.
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